The role of music in my life

Well, I'm done! Not like officially, or anything. But I finished my last value, and all I have left is to do the write up thing for this project and get and interview with my bishop. Oh, and figure out who to pass this off to. I really am having the hardest time deciding. I have like a bajillion names in my head of people who I think would do a really good job with this blog. And then there's a part of me that wants to keep it - my dad keeps trying to convince me I should. But I started out with the intent of giving this blog to someone else, so I intend to do that. So, until I figure out who to give it to, I will still be making posts. In fact, I may be making many posts in a short period of time, because there's at least three posts that I want to do right now, and who knows what else I'll end up feeling like doing. And then, who knows when I'll figure out who this blog should go to. So, this week may be my last week - but it may no be. We'll just see what happens.

So. Music. We all know it's like my favorite thing on Earth. I love to sing. I love to play the piano. I love to pretend like I can play the guitar. I love to listen to music. I love to pick out different instruments, different voice parts, and hear how each different thing blends together to make one big thing of beautifulness.

Today I ended up going to my mom's sunday school class. She teaches the adults. I was there to play the piano as a special request. (It was kind of MY special request. My mom said she needed someone to play the piano, and I wanted to hear her teach a lesson. Especially THIS lesson.) So, unless you're behind on the lessons, like my real class, then you would have had the lesson on Psalms. Psalms is more than just poems. They're songs! Wonderful, wonderful songs. And as my mom started planning for this lesson, I started thinking about what music has done for me. Well, I guess I had been thinking about it a little bit before, but definitely more intensely this past week. Because, for me, music goes beyond the words, the melody, the instruments, and the harmonies. Music is my teacher. Music is my expression. Music is my testimony. Music is in my very heart and soul.

As I've been thinking about this, I started noticing a pattern. Many of the songs I grew up listening to, whether primary songs or church choir songs my family would sing have become my testimony. If that makes sense. They've become how I feel. I think I've started noticing that now because of the way my testimony has been changing, developing, and strengthening in a way it never has before. The choir song "Oh That I Were an Angel" based on Alma 29:1. I feel like Alma, sometimes. I would love to be able to proclaim, to everyone, the Gospel. To proclaim it in a way that people could not deny it. The choir song "Make Us One." I have a very, very strong testimony on unity. On the need for it, and the importance of it. The lines "Take from me this heart of stone, and make it flesh, even as thine own. Take from me unfeeling pride. Teach me compassion, cast my fear aside." These speak to me very strongly. I've learned a lot about the heart, and the role it plays with the spirit and with your testimony. Pride cannot dwell in a place where unity is. Pride destroys unity. There's another song, "When He Comes Again" that, just today, I've noticed its impact. But I'm going to save that for the end.

And then there are songs that have made their impact just in the past couple years. "Daughter of a King" has been hugely important. I've never been more secure in who I am and in my role and purpose. And a lot of it has to do with this song and what it taught me. The choir song "There is a Hill" has done so much for my testimony of the Savior. Each and every word in there echos my testimony.

I really could go on and on. But these songs seem to have embedded their words into my very heart, into my very life. I can't really explain it. But I'm positive that my testimony would not be the same without the amazing power of these songs.

So, "When He Comes Again." There's a reason why I've saved it for last. Sort of because it was mentioned in a talk today, and it just kind of hit me. And sort of because the lines that were shared in the talk - the lines that mean the most to me - were lines that seemed to...to resonate in me, if that makes sense. I don't know if it does, I feel like I'm not explaining it well. But it's about something that I have recently started thinking about. My last poem was inspired by these thoughts and desires.

When I was eleven, for the last primary program I would be a part of, I was asked to sing "When He Comes Again." I was a wee bit intimidated. Ward boundaries had just recently been changed, and I was in a ward that I knew very little people. I wasn't quite as enthusiastic about singing as I was now. Singing was reserved for sharing time and for singing silly songs at home. Not for singing in front of a bunch of people I didn't know. Especially when I was supposed to sing both verses, when I only knew the first one. I didn't even know there was a second verse! But the second verse quickly became my favorite as I learned it. And I feel like that, maybe, singing that second verse opened and prepared my heart for what I would learn this year. Singing that verse almost 6 years ago helped me do some changing this year.

"I wonder when He comes again, will I be ready there? To look upon His loving face, and join with Him in prayer? Each day I try to do His will and let my light so shine that others seeing me may seek for greater light divine. Then when that blessed day will come, He'll love me and He'll say, 'You've served me well, my little child. Come into my arms to stay.'"

I have been pondering on the day the Savior will return. What will happen to me? Will I be ready? Will I be able to look in His face and see joy, the same joy that I might be feeling? What will I say? I actually don't know if I'll be able to say anything. I have a hard enough time speaking. I stutter, and often times the words that come out of my mouth come out way wrong and end up not being what was in my head. And I have a harder time when I get emotional. And let me tell you, there will be lots of emotion flowing through me that day. Speak, no, I probably won't be able to say anything. But, if I was to do anything, I imagine that I might sing. Perhaps, music would come from my very heart, words that I could never seem to say, come out in beautiful song, with a wonderful spirit and expressing what mere words can never do. But then again, maybe all that will happen is that I'll cry and not be able to do anything else. But, regardless, He'll hear all that I want to sing or say. And hopefully, He'll be able to say that He's pleased with me. I don't think there's words I want to hear more.

I love music. There's a spirit you can feel with music that you can't feel at any other time. You know, there have been multiple times that I have heard, or, I guess feel would be a better word, angels singing. I know music is important to the Lord. It makes me happy to know that I can do at least this one thing for Him. I can sing or play the piano, use my talents for Him. Whether you like music or not, whether or not music is your thing, just know that music, it can do amazing things. Music can invite the spirit, it can teach you. Music is a way of praising God. It's a service to Him. So, if there's one thing I hope you do now, it's at least sing the hymns. I know I've said it in a previous post, but the hymns are a way of giving praises to God. He loves it. At least sing the hymns in church. You'll blessed for it, I promise! :)