He lives!

So tonight I went to the Easter Pageant. It truly is an inspired program. I'm sad to say that I wasn't able to see it all the way through...I made the mistake of drinking soda before it started. So I needed to get up in the middle to use the restroom. It kind of broke the spirit of it at little. And I missed one of my favorite parts, the one where the little kid who can't walk ends up running to Christ. Yeah, I was a little upset. But the spirit was still there, and I still was touched. There were two things that kind of hit me the most. The first was when Christ says He will be betrayed, and then later on tells Peter that he will deny Christ 3 times. As the apostles said "Is it I?" I was struck with the thought "I hope it is never me." And then when Peter refuses to accept that he will deny Christ, but then ends up doing it 3 times, I was struck, more forcefully, with the thought "How many times have I denied Christ?" Because all of us at one time or another turn our backs from Christ. We all get prideful, we all sin. It really made me wonder just how often I deny Him, one way or another, after claiming that I'd never do that and proclaiming Him as my Redeemer and best friend. The second thing that hit me happened at the ending, when there's the whole "He lives" song and the angels and the multitude come out to praise, and Christ appears above the stage and everything. First, was the thought that if I wasn't in that host of angels singing praises of Christ, then I was definitely in heaven singing along. But that's just random and doesn't really have to do with anything. Second, was just the feeling of excitement for when Christ comes again. It was kind of a different feeling. Just a few weeks ago in seminary, we've talked about the second coming, and just how soon it is. I got a little freaked. no because I think I'm going to be destroyed or anything, but because I feel like there's so much more I need to be doing. But tonight, when I was thinking about the second coming, I just got so excited. I just kept thinking "I can't wait till He comes again! I want to be able to run to meet Him. I want kneel down at His feet and thank him." I really can't explain just how excited I was. It's like, anticipation for Christmas or a birthday times 50. I sort of hope that this was the spirit telling me that I'm doing a good job and that I'll be standing at the last days. Granted, I realize that there's still so much I should do, but I feel reasured that I'm doing an OK job. And I can't wait to see Him again. I just want you all to know, that I know, that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. He suffered incredible pain and anguish for us. For me! For YOU! His words "Not my will, but Thine be done" are wonderful words, that show His sacrifce for us. He did not understand just how much agony He would suffer until it stared happening. But He still went through with it. He's our Elder brother. He's our friend. He loves each and every one of us, and patiently waits for us. I'm so grateful to Him, and I know I can never repay Him for what He did. I just hope that some day - some day soon! - I will be able to thank Him face to face. I know that my Redeemer lives! And I hope that you know it too.

Two steps forward, one step back

It is a very true statement when I say seminary is my favorite part of the day. It's just so wonderful! I really didn't like not having it this spring break. It was like something was missing from my day. Seminary is just, I don't know, just so perfect for me. School is so blah for me. Choir is the only class on campus I really seem to enjoy. Sorry Jess, but even Spanish is boring, too. It's just the people in the class that make it fun. Seminary always seems to give me what I need. It makes me happy on a bad day. I learn things that are very timely, or someone says something I needed to hear. In fact, I think I may have become a little bit too dependent on it, if that makes sense. I've been very spoiled with my seminary class this year. Bro. Tilley is just crazy awesome, and the people in my class are just as amazing. It is honestly the most amazing seminary class I've ever had. And it's gonna be tough for next year to top it. So, I guess my point is, this spring break, I've realized just how complacent I've gotten. I've tried to not get complacent. I've tried to watch myself, but, of course, pride gets in the way. This week I've been unusually cranky. Now, I'm often cranky at home. It's where I'm most tired and most comfortable with being cranky. But it's gotten pretty bad. I was trying to figure it out. It's not the sleep issue. I'm getting more than I do during school, but not too much. Then I realized that I've been kinda slacking with the things I usually do to keep myself spiritually fed and to keep the spirit with me. Like with my scripture reading. Now, I usually read my scriptures before I go to bed. But it's not because I put it off. I actually think I can focus more then, than when I first get home from work. But I can sort of think about the day and stuff. I don't know, I just think I'm more spiritually focused at that time than if I got up early to read them. So, I never really see that as a problem during school. But this week, with no school, with really no structure to my day, I could have easily read my scriptures at any time. but I read them right before bed as usual. Except for this time, I read them because I needed to, not because I wanted to. I would read them when I could barely keep my eyes open, not really getting much out of it. I've also been extremely lazy adn have been putting off things. The old enemy procrastination has crept back into play. It just sort of amazes me how quickly things can start going downhill. I feel like I have grown so much spiritually this year, because of seminary and other things I've been doing. But then one week of slacking, I feel like I've gone backwards. By like a lot. I've become too comfortable with seminary and how I can learn and realize so much by just being there. Yes, I have been able to make much progress with that, but what about during the summer when I'll just have church on Sunday and mutual on Wednesday. I'm going to have to actually work to continue to grow. I'm not going to have seminary everyday, with a teacher and a class full of students ready to help me each day. hmm....maybe I should arrange a summer seminaryish class...haha. But it's just kind of been an eye opener to see that there's still so much I should be doing. And it's one thing to learn something, and another thing to put into action. So I guess that's what I'll be working on. I don't want to take that one step back. I want to be continually looking forward, pressing on, and making progress.

I know Stripling Warriors

So. Friday and Saturday I decided to read about the stripling warriors in my personal scripture study. And man, am I glad I did. It's been a LONG time since i've had scripture study like those two days. Especially Friday. So i want to share the things that i've learned. It's probably going to be another long post. haha I guess I'm just long-winded. But there was a lot I learned. I hope the spirit can help me type the words and things that need to be taught and can be present as you're reading this. I want to start off by saying that the story of the stripling warriors is possibly one of my favorite stories in the Book of Mormon EVER! It starts in Alma 56. I'm going to be sharing about chapters 56 and 57, just in case you want to use your scriptures as references as you read this. Alrighty, so, something I always keep in mind when reading this story, is how the youth of the church are often referred to as stripling warriors. This was the basis of the things I learned. Alma 56:9-10 sort of introduce the role of the stripling warriors and tell us our role a youth - or even just members of the church. They were sent to assist Antipus, their leader. Our job is to assist our leaders. Help our bishops, young women leaders, young men leaders, apostles, prophet, etc. Help with what? With sharing the Gospel, strengthening it's members, sharing out love, being Christlike. And not just with those who aren't members of the church. In vs. 10, it says "behold his army had been reduced by the Lamanites because their forces had slain a vast number of our men, for which cause we have to mourn." There are people that "fight" with that will fall to satan and his temptations. We must do our best to help and strengthen all we can, both members and nonmembers, because Satan can get anyone if not properly prepared against. Ok, a little time out. Vs. 17 is an amazing verse. but i'm going to skip it for now. It's going to be the last thing i talk about, because I kind of want it to be the thing that leaves the biggest impression, and hopefully it being the last thing read will help that. So, anyways, vs. 24. The lamanites didn't attack. Why? because they knew they didn't have a chance. This is significant. Why? because Satan tempts us when he knows he has some chance of succeeding. He's one clever guy. He knows what he's doing. when he attacks us, he's going to go all out. Always. He wants us to fall too badly to fight half-heartedly. We need to be constantly prepared, like in vs 28, with provisions. What kind? well, both physical and spiritual. Things like food storage and gardens. and also daily scripture study and prayers, and having a temple recommend. in vs. 37, where is says "but pursued their march in a straight course after us" I have written in my margin that when help comes to us (because Antipus was coming to help the stripling warriors) Satan does all he can to bring us down before that help can reach us. This means that we must always be on out toes so he can't bring us down, and so we can help those around us before he brings them down. Vs 40: the stripling warriors and Helamen ran straight and did not turn to the right or left. We are told to be on the straight and narrow. In life's course, we are meant to stay on that path. Even if we are fleeing from satan's temptation. We must always be aware of what we're doing and the consequences of our actions. in vs. 41, the Lamanits are spotted because the light of morning comes. I really like this verse, because we know that when we're living in a way that we can always have the spirit with us and follow the example of Christ, the light of the world, Satan's plans will be illuminated. We will always be able to see him coming, just as you would see an army advancing when it's morning. Vs.44-48 are my favorite part of the story of the stripling warriors. Helamen asks if they are willing to go to battle to help Antipus' army. The prophet as asked us so many times if we are willing to go to battle against satan and to help the people around us. The striplings did not shirk and did their duty. Their faith is SO amazing. What I admire most is the faith in God and in what their mothers told them. they did not fear, because their faith was so great. Faith and fear cannot exist together. Now, it's ok to have fear. But be sure that you can replace that fear with faith. Like, say there was a youth group that went repelling. There was a girl who's terrified of heights. She still managed to go off the extremely tall cliff, because she was able to give that fear to the Lord and trusted her leaders. She conquered her fear (though she is still scared of heights) and came back with a renewed faith in God. true story :) don't ever let fear overcome your duty, because faith is so much stronger than any fear you could ever have. then in vs 51, it talks about how because the leaders had fallen, there was confusion. We need to be aware that there is always the chance that we can fall to Satan, no matter how much responsibility we have or how much good we have done. We must always be aware and prepared, because what we do will always effect the people around us. If a leader in the church falls, who knows how many people can follow that leader because of the confusion it can cause. Ok, going on the chapter 57, the first half is basically about them being prepared and strong. Like always, we need to be faith. and we need to be strong. Strong how? Strong in the Lord. Through the Lord, we can have the greatest strength possible. We can achieve anything. then, in vs 21, it says "and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness." This is like the ultimate example to me. We need to be sure that we are obeying every commandment we are given with exactness. It's extremely hard, but how amazing would it be if every youth in the church did just that? then, in vs. 25, which is similar to vs. 56 in chapter 56, it says that not one of the 2,060 stripling warriors were lost. 200 had fainted, but none had fallen. We need to be living in a way that we will be able to be like those stripling warriors, so we will not fall. We may have setbacks like the 200, but I hope we can be like that 2,060 and not fall. How can we be like that? well, exactly like the stripling warriors did. Exceeding faith. Trusting in God continually. Not doubting. Being firm and steadfast. in vs. 34, it says "we did arrive in time that we might assist our brethren in preserving the city." It is so very important that we are doing what we're supposed to, so we can be on the right path to arrive in time to help someone in need. I can't tell you how many times I have needed something said to me or done for me, and because the people around me were living righteously, they did exactly what was needed for me. We can be vital in helping "preserve" each other. In a seminary conference, someone said something like this: When we are on the right path in life, we will meet others on that same path that will be a help and strength. When we aren't on the right path, we will never meet them. I'm very sad to think that if I was living in a different way, that the people that are in my life now might not be there. Or that I could be living in a way that is making me miss out in meeting amazing people. and this kind of leads into the last thing that I want to share. Going back to chapter 56:17. the last couple lines are my favorite. They say "those sons of mine gave them great hopes and much joy." I've been kind of thinking about this, and who the sons - or stripling warriors, since girls can be today's stripling warriors - are today, I started thinking of all the amazing youth I know. Especially those younger than me. Because they are the ones who are the stripling warriors. I mean, of course, my leaders are amazing. There's no doubt about that. And then there's people like Bro. Tilley and my sister Amy who are young, and who are amazing also. But there's just something about the younger people. With each group of people, I see such greatness. I look at the people just older than me, and I'm like "man, those seniors are awesome!" Then I look at the juniors that are my age and am amazed again. And then at the sophomores younger than me and am amazed even more. And then the next group and the next group down. These truly are the stripling warriors of the last dispensation. I have such great hope and joy looking at them. I'm even amazed at the primary kids! There are so many people younger than me that I look up to. I'm among stripling warriors. I know so many of them. Because of them, I know that this world has hope. I can see a good future, and that the church will be spread throughout the world because of them. I can't help to be anything but joyful and hopeful when I know such greatness and am around them everyday.

Service: There can be no true happiness without it. True Statement.

In a world of constant turmoil and strife, giving is truly the only way for civilization to remain. Sounds a little dramatic, no? Well, think about it. It's very true. There are always people who are poor, hungry, naked, homeless. and then there's always people who barely have enough, people who can get by and have a little extra, and people who have plenty of what is necessary. Because of this, there always is a need for those who are better off to help those less fortunate. All of us, whether poor or rich, can give. It can be time, love, money, supplies, anything! for mutual today, the Young Men and Young Women went to the Humanitarian Aid Center. It truly was amazing. It also makes me feel kind of guilty. I don't know how many times I have said that service is so very important. That it's the only way to have true happiness. Yet, I feel like i don't always do that. I'm very selfish with my time. I seem to hoard what little money I have. The only thing I really seem to do on a regular basis is donate clothes to DI. It's something, but I can do so much better. What I learned today at the Humanitarian Center is that service really is so easy. And it is vital. Many of us do not realize just how bad people in other places have it. We are very lucky to live where we do. And even now, with Haiti and Chile, where buildings and roads are destroyed - highways and cities! (If you can tell me where in the Book of Mormon it mentions highways and cities being destroyed, I'll give you a cookie. :) It shouldn't be that hard if you're in seminary.) The service we can give to these countries in need is so simple! They are even things people do regularly. Like the people who make those flower headbands. You can totally donate some to the Humanitarian Aid Center for little girls. Or you could go down to the Center and put together school kits. There are places where kids can't go to school because their parents are too poor to buy the school supplies that are required. It's so easy. We put together a bunch in like 30 minutes tonight. tying quilt! super easy, and fun if you do it with your friends. If you have money, you can buy supplies for different kits. And there's so much more! you have a talent for sewing? make shirts or dresses. You like to color? make folder game boards to send to orphanages. It's all so easy! And it feels so good. Just the little things that i was able to do tonight has made me so happy. I just feel so good! And you never know what effect each little thing you do can have. If i helped put together just one school kit, that's one kid who can go to school. One kid that can help change his life and the life of his family. Service truly is amazing. Just do good things. give a smile to someone. You just might make their day. It makes mine when I see people smile at me. It's just all so simple. Simple, simple, simple. You don't have to make it this big huge thing, especially if you don't have the resources. But every little thing you do matters. It truly makes a difference in this world. I think I now understand why Pres. Monson has stressed service so much. It is a wonderfuly amazing thing.

Life and death. Then life again.

So today after work i went to a viewing. My mom wanted to go and the place it was taking place at was right by where I work. So I went with her. The viewing was for Virginia Stradling. Now, I really didn't know her. She was in my ward when I was like 5. But I know some of her family. One of her daughters is in my ward, and so some of her grandkids are in Young Womens with me. McKayla and Tennille Heywood. They're some pretty amazing girls. But anyways, one thing you should know about me, I really do not going like going to viewings. Ok, I guess that's sort of a lie. I've only been to one viewing before this. It was my grandpa's, when I was about three years old. I really don't remember much about it, but I did remember not really liking it. It wasn't a happy place. That's about all I remember. So I haven't been to a viewing since, until today. And I now know why I didn't really like it when I was three. It's not that I was sad for Sis. Stradling. How could I be sad for her? She's probably experiencing some amazing happiness right now. I was sad because her family doesn't get to have her with them now. McKayla and Tennille don't get to have their grandma with them. Sis. Heywood doesn't have her mom here anymore. It was just an overwhelming saddness. But at the same time, there was more. The knowledge of forever families makes that sadness not quite so bitter. They will be together again. I'm so grateful for the experience I've had today. It's ok to be sad and to miss loved ones lost. But, oh how sweet the joy will be when the time comes for the loved ones to be reunited. There is life after death, and there is eternal families. I can't imagine how much more overwhelming the sadness would be in that room if the people there did not have that knowledge. I'm so thankful to be sealed to my family. To have the knowledge that I can have an eternal family. I'll always have my parents, my brothers and sisters. When I get married and have kids I can be sealed to them for eternity. When we are torn apart by death, we will be able ot be reunited. There will be life and death. There always will be. But there will always be life again, after death.

Let's start at the very beginning!

All right. this is probably going to be a wee bit long. But it's my first post. Give me a break, will ya? So. I'm almost done with my Personal Progress. All I have left to do is Integrity, and I'm about halfway done. So, this is my Integrity project. I get to work on it while I'm doing the value experiences. So. Goal #1: Blog about my last few Personal Progress experiences. Goal #2: Share anything spiritual that I feel is important, whether from Seminary, Sacrament Meeting, Young Women, home, scriputre study, whatever. Goal #3: At least once a month, blog about someone who I have seen show integrity. After all, this is my integrity project. Goal #4: Get people to occasionally post on here of things they feel is important and then want to share. (If you have something you wish to share, talk to me.) Goal #5: Once I finish with my project, find someone to pass this along to. Maybe for a Personal Progress project of their own. I could keep it up myself, but I think it'd be cool to hand it off to someone. So then I guess it won't be the book of Beth anymore. It'll be the book of The Awesome Girl I Bestow it Upon. Goal #6 - The ULTIMATE goal: to be able to make a difference in someone's life. To help someone grow. To help someone's testimony. The number one goal of my life is to make a difference in the world, whether it's just the world to one person. I'm hoping that maybe this project can help me start to achieve that goal. So. Back to business. There are two things I wish to share with you today. One: a Personal Progress Experience. Two: Something I learned in my Young Womens lesson today. (great lesson by the way Sis. Martineau. I love your lessons.) Ok. First, personal progress. It was integrity #2. It's one where you change a certain behavior. I chose procratination. For those of you who don't know, I'm one of the greatest procrastinators of this generation. Great fun, right? Ha! False! It makes me stressed, and tired and cranky. Great time, let me tell you. So, I've been working on getting my homework done, and not waiting till the last second. It's improved. I'm by no means perfect, and it's still an ongoing thing, but two things that I've learned made me think that I did what was necessary to pass is off. After all, it's about making progress, not being perfect. So last Thursday night was possibly the most stressful night i've had for a while. I had a ton of homework, and I had baptisms for the dead the next morning, which meant I had to get up early. It was getting late when I realized I hadn't read my scriptures yet. I really wasn't close to being done with my homework, but I knew that if I put off reading, I wouldn't get a thing out of it. So I read, and returned to my homework. I finished my English, but I still had some Spanish stuff to do. I went to bed anyway, because I wanted as much sleep as possible. Amazingly enough, the next day in school, I was able to finish my homework in record time, and had not reason to stress about it. Lesson learned: don't put off the most important things. yes, homework is important, but when we put the MOST important things first (the scriptures in this case) the Lord will provide way for the other things to get done. Another lesson learned is that, integrity, and those habits and things required to do in order to have integrity, are not going to be easy. You're not going to be able to set a habit, and have it for life. You're going to need to work on it everyday, every minute. Once we let our guard down, who knows what could happen. Then, in Young Womens today, there was something I learned that kind of went with some things i had been learning that week. I love it when lessons connect! It makes it so much more personal. Anyways, I'm a very emotional person. And sometimes i let them control what I say or do. This isn't the greatest thing. What I learned today is this: emotions are not bad to feel. It's not a sin to feel a certain way. they can even be good, like happiness and stuff. But once we let those emotions dictate what we do and how we act, that's when it becomes a sin. Satan can get us to feel angry at someone, but we don't have to act on the anger. We don't have to let it dictate what we do. So, that's it. Hope you like it. Heck, I hope someone's reading this. If you are, I'll try to post something at least once a week. Till then!